Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The most logical man in the world.


I'm at this party a few months ago, right?  I'm writing my thesis, and I'm a little sick.  I've had a glass of gin (~1.5 standard drinks equivalent), and I am walking out of the kitchen with a glass of water.  A drunken gentleman demanded an explanation of me, that I would have the gall to be drinking a glass of water at such an important social occasion!

I told him that I had thought it out, but it was a bit of a long explanation, so he could either hear the reasoning or accept that I had thought it through.  He replied that he had nothing but time, so I explained to him my situation.  I was sick, functional, but sick.  I told him that I was suffering from a sore throat, and I knew that alcohol was a good treatment, so I had been drinking gin.  However, to drink so that my BAC would be in excess of about 0.05 would likely impair my body's ability to fight the infection.  Therefore, in an effort to balance out everything, I had decided to have roughly two drinks in my first hour at the party, then limit myself to one drink per hour afterwards.  However, I needed to ensure that I was drinking a glass of water between alcoholic beverages to keep my fluids up.  This, I felt, was the optimal solution.

He contemplated this for a moment, and told me that I was perfectly reasonable, and that it was the "perfect solution" to my problem.  I said that I usually tried to have a reason behind my actions, and to him, this meant that I must be the most logical man in the world.  This position was reinforced several times throughout the evening.  He would burst into the room, explain my position as the most logical man in the world, and leave quickly thereafter.

I sincerely doubt that I am the most logical man in the world, but this story brings a smile to my face when I think about it.  I hope that you might enjoy it, too.


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